Uncle Pete – E

This is the start of the Uncle Pete Saga, as written by Jimmy Vrtis (Jim’s middle child, or Jim’s Grandson depending on your point of reference.) For those of you who know Uncle Pete, pass it along to the VBB. My dad is off line for a while, his computer in en route to Andrew, alison (the computer) may go back to his house.


To this day I do not know if Uncle Pete is alive or dead but I do know that he existed. Growing up, Uncle Pete always did what his parents didn’t want him to do for example, he tied a rock to his foot, hammered a light bulb, and also went in a forest.

When growing up his parents didn’t want him to cut his own hair. Well he did…. When his dad saw him he said he said he looked like a molted duck.

One time dad told Pete to give the dog a shower and he did… but he used maple syrup for soap. The dog was stuck in the bathtub for three days.

When it was winter his parents told Pete not to mess with the computer! Well he did anyways! He was building a snowman and he used the $800 MONITOR for the head of a snowman and he used the extension cords for the hands. He also used the mouse for the nose.

Once when Uncle Pete and his family were in Michigan his mom said “don’t go anywhere without telling us.” So right when he was at the cottage he picked up a rock and a string and was running to the lake. When a semi just barely missed him, he just picked up the rock and ran to the boat. He could hear his mom yelling “Stop right there are Mr.!” He just ignored her. Pete just hopped in the boat and rowed to the deepest part he could find on the lake. His mom said “Don’t you dare drown yourself!” He put the rock over the water and his mom yelled “Pete overboard!” She swam as fast as a cheetah on land. She dived under and untied the rope so fast her hands were a blur. When she came up she was panting really hard, and you know what Pete said? “Can I do that again?”!

One foggy morning Pete was bored. He decided to ask his dad if he wanted to play twister, dad said no, I am busy fixing the hole in the wall. Well since you are so bored make breakfast for yourself. All right Pete said. He took three cereal boxes (they were Frosted Flakes, Reese Puffs, and Puffs and put them on a paper plate. And then poured milk in a pan and added the cereal, he turned the gas on high. He then burned all his cereal, then the milk he said “yum the power of milk”! His dad said to make some pancakes for me and your mom when he turned on the stove all the gas was out. Pete said all the gas is out I used it for my cereal.

Well now you have to help me fix the hole in the wall. I will hold the nail and you hammer the nail. So Pete jumped up because the nail was so high and hit the wall and made an even bigger hole. Dad said “I’ll give you one more chance”. Pete said can ” I have a chair to stand on dad”. “Alright” said Dad. So he went to stand on the chair, he swung the hammer behind his head and wham, he hit a light bulb. His dad saw him, he was getting himself electrocuted his hair was standing up like it was bad hair day! And he looked like an x-ray of a person. Pete’s dad sprinted to the light switch and turned off the light. Pete fell right on his back. Pete’s mom came down from the attic and said “Not Again”.

When Pete got older he had six brothers and one sister Chuck, Nick, Mikey, Robert, James, Mary and Ray. Right when they got to the cottage they went to bed. When one Pete woke up his siblings woke up six hours later. He said to them “Sit at the table I’ll make my specialty.” So he took three kinds of cereal and milk and put them in a pan and bam the cereal burned, the milk bubbled and he put the pan on the table and told them to dig in. After eight servings they were finally stuffed. Pete decided to show them around the cottage and then the lake. Last he was going to show them the forest. He showed them the animals, the trees and after two hours they were lost. Pete said look there is a cave lets go to sleep in that! So they went to bed. When Pete woke up he saw the kids running and said “where are you going?”, then a bear jumped in front of the cave. And that is the last time they saw Pete. After three days the kids found their way to the cottage. Their dad said, “we were so worried about you!!!. Where have you been?” In the forest,” James said. “Where’s Pete,” Mom said. “I don’t know,” Mikey replied, with a wide grin spreading across his face. Chuck answered, “Last we knew he was being chased by a big black bear.” Mom and Dad started to sob uncountably. And this is why no one knows if Pete is alive or dead.

Yeah I remember the Prometheus moth I think it carried Pete away– did it not??